You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We had to coat check the pizza.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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