youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
