everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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