what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Houston, we have a squirter
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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