I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
