And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
