i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
