At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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