ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
