my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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