i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
