We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
