i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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