Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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