I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
