She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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