Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
