Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
