the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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