I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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