Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
