I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
