That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You dont lie about slip and slides
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
