No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
