He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize
