Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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