Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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