Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
