Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
