Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
