i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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