I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
