Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
