Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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