Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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