somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
two words: eviction party
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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