I think I just saw someone hide a body.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
