the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
