Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
