it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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