i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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