Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize