Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
