Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
