I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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