drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm at about main and main street
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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