i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize