You were right. It hurts to walk today.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
