i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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