I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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