i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
My ass is underappreciated
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
