so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
