Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We're too hungover to prance.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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