i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
