there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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