Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
