turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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